Ways of Self-criticism with Merve Çağıran

Interview by Duygu Bengi | PHotography by Fora Norman Styled by Melike Barut

Though choosing a profession is always hard, it somehow seems a harder decision to choose to be an actor. How did you decide to become one?

I believe that if we take physical and spiritual uncertainties into consideration while choosing a profession, that won’t be a real choice. I was happy on stage and I wanted to do this; I didn’t ponder on it later on. There are many actors and musicians in my family. I made this decision at the age of 16, well aware of its hardships and pleasures. I think one should choose a profession where they can use their creative powers. I’m only happy when I write, compose or think on characters or scenes.

In one of your interviews, you said “I’d love to play a character who has feelings and goals that are different from mine.” What sort of screenplay would increase your heartbeat?

I’d like to play a serial killer. It could be a character that’s both afraid and hateful. I’d like to play a character who has his/her inner conflicts and extremes.

Though our habit of using screens has changed online platforms are rather new to our lives. What made it more attractive for you to be included on a platform rid of all prohibitions?

These are great beginnings. Besides courage and freedom, online platforms create different results from TV in terms of character builds and stories.

Easily accessible content also accelerates the rate of consumption. How does this affect acting?

Projects that are released online as a package (for instance Fi was released in groups of three episodes, or there are Netflix shows that are released as one season, i.e. 13 episodes) can positively affect acting thanks to various factors such as a more organized workflow and knowing where the story will go. The sooner you know about the story and the general direction, the more space you have to work in. You’ll better know where the character will go. But I don’t think this has a huge impact on acting. Binge-watching enables the viewer to examine the character non- stop and in-depth.

While increasing popularity eliminates challenges to become an actor, does it also build boundaries in social life?

Not at all. I can do whatever I want. There’s no end to drawing boundaries for yourself in order not to be criticized. It’s better not to go down that road.

Do you prefer making plans or surrendering to the flow of life?

There are certain things I’d like to plan ahead; those are things that one can surrender to the flow only after a degree of planning. But besides that I believe that I explore and cherish things more when they’re unplanned.

Will your interest in writing and composing turn into an album?

I don’t intend to make an album but I do want to record some songs and release them online as singles.

What are your disappointing thoughts when you self-criticize?

I’m not upset about being self-criticizing. I think it’s a mental and conscious gymnastic. It’s only constructive when you criticize yourself without burning out and then determine a positive and creative pathway. No one
is pure good; if you don’t accept the negative feelings you harbor, you’ll ignore them and don’t let them evolve. All things left unattended will be imprisoned forever.

What is about your life you say “luckily” the most?

Luckily, I’ve always been against certain guarantee-oriented approaches since I was a kid. Luckily, I’m in theater. Luckily, I’ve learned a lot from acting and personalized my acting in return. Luckily, I’m doing something where I can always think freely.