After watching Love 101, we ask ourselves once again: “Why does one do good?” but there’s another question we don’t actually know the answer to; “What is good?”. While trying to find answers with Pınar, we go back and forth somewhere between our emotions and our logic.
Why does one do good?
It’s a question that people have talked about for centuries, and I’ve read countless books on it, but I never find the answer. What is “good”, anyway? Is there an absolute good, or is what everyone deems “good” really good? I think the majority of people are doing good for their own sake. You know, favor for a favor…
Or maybe for a clear conscience. We have to interact with each other and it’s the only way we can get along. To be a good person or to be able to share that, maybe!
How do you deal with your prejudices?
By not judging. Or trying not to. You get an opinion about someone or something you encounter, whether you want to or not. I either try to understand, or I don’t think about it and stay away. I’m trying to think more limitlessly and freely. I’m trying to be neutral, and I’m more interested in what the other person means than what they say. I mess with myself a lot. Renewal is like my motto… And that’s kind of the reason why I decided to be an actor. When I’m embodying a character, I try to understand them. I never judge. The more Pınar acts, the more she gets rid of her prejudices, the more she begins to understand the person. So it’s much more fun to play roles that I can’t naturally relate.
We all have different shoes to walk in. And that’s exactly why life is somewhat more bearable and fun.
Do you find yourself judging people?
Sometimes… And when I realize I do, I immediately stop. I turn into whatever I judge; I’m telling this from experience. In a universe of countless people, it’s impossible for everyone to fit together. I think it’s amazing that everyone is so different. I don’t understand the point in trying to look alike or think alike. We all have different shoes to walk in. And that’s exactly why life is somewhat more bearable and fun.
Your biggest fear?
Getting lost inside my own head! My mind works so hard that there are so many times I can’t sleep just because of it. And when it doesn’t have anything to think about, it just hangs out on his own and keeps me up. So I’m teaching myself to “stop”. The feeling of emptiness, meditating. I’m learning to stay in the moment by doing nothing, just breathing.
How close are you to the dreams you had in high school?
I’m kind of close, actually, but I just changed my ways… I thought I could save the world, I was very idealistic at the time. I was volunteering in certain organizations. I was trying to help people, kids, in my own way. Then, I realized that I have to change my own world first and stay calm. I can reach more people by acting. I have so much to say and so many things I want to do. But I know that I have a long way to go to do so. The more people I have, the more beautiful I’ll get. I’ll be able reach more.
Are you brave enough to face your fears?
The old me would say, “No!”, but I’ve changed and keep changing so much that facing my fears gives me immense joy. There’s a strange bond between me and fear that we challenge each other. For example, I was afraid of cats but I decided to adopt one. Because of my cat, my relationship with everything alive has changed. I was afraid to listen to myself. Now I’m just listening to that feeling inside me. The more I love myself, the more I can say no, the stronger I feel, the more present I feel.
How would you define love?
I would define it as an undefined emotion. It’s very subjective. It is something that you feel. I mean, it’s not like crying… You can convey that emotion with tears, or you can raise your voice to show your anger… But how do you feel when you’re in love… There are thousands of variations. I’m not trying to make sense of what I’m going through, I’m just living it. Every time, I feel something unique. Every person leaves a different mark. If you’re asking about the love you feel for the opposite sex, I’d say that the urge to wonder is the most dominant.
Interview Duygu Bengi
Photography Burcu Karademir